Don’t forget to always be THANKFUL!
And Thank God/Existence for today!
MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH’S Dialogues in English
1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u
sneeze u ll say HUTCH
3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College
4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop … u
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a
software engineer cannot bcom a software
6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world
in world cup
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.
INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.
PATNIism
You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows
WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk.
MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism
You don’t have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.
CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2…stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.
HPism
You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.
RELIANCEism
You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk..
TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly
contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by
hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you
receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via
any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT.
This virus will wipe out your private folder from your life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the
premises. Visit the nearest Super market and purchase one or both of the
antidotes – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome
Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated
from your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to your friends. If you
do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is
controlling your life.
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