Page 2 of 41234
 

HEADLINES  DATED 1ST JAN 2025

· President  Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi receive
Italian Prime Minister  Rahul Gandhi.

· Dhoom 17 ready for release.

I will play next world cup – Sachin Tendulkar

·  Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend  Aishwarya’s 3rd marriage.

· Mein To Ab Bhi Jawan Hoon – Dev Anand’s new movie set for release
where  he plays son of Aamir Khan & Madhuri Dixit.

· After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh’s
role  in remake of “Jhoom Barabar Jhoom” .

· Petrol Rs. 999/= per ltr.

· Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has
completed 400yrs.

· Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st
round  after losing to Korea.

· Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host &
the Guest too.

· Riots in the Parliament as the newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat &
Rakhi Sawant enter the assembly.

·  Maruti launches its new Hovercraft  ”SX-25″. Honda, Toyota & Tata to follow.

·  A cap found in Mithi river – Sources say  it belonged to a species
called Himesh Reshammiya…

HAVE A PLEASANT DAY…………….

Women – Multiple process
Women’s brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.

Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.

Men – Single Process
Men’s brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can
not watch a TV and talking in phone same time. He stops the TV while
Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.

LANGUAGE.
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain set up. But can not
find the solutions to problems Men can not easily learn languages; he
can easily solve the problems.

3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.

ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men’s brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So
easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.

He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it. She
can not understand the details of the map easily.
For her it is dump of lines in a paper.

CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, men’s analytical spaces are used in his brain. He
can drive a car fastly. If he see an object at long distance,
immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car)
direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as
women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His
single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then
concentrating only on the driving.

You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit
next to him will shout, “GO SLOW” , “CARE FULL”, “AAHHH”, “OHH GOD..”

..etc..

LIE
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they got caught easily.
Her super natural brain observe the facial expression 70%, and the
body language 20% and the words comes from mouth 10%. So he is easily
caught while lying.

Men’s brain does not have this.
Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all
the lights or cover your/her face with blanket.
Don’t lie face to face.

PROBLEM.
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies
the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in
individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can
see many guys looking on the sky’s for a long times. If you disturb
him, he gets irritated.

End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify
the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling
everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry abt
the problem solved or not.

WANTS
Men want status, success, solutions, big process…. etc Women want
relationship, friends, family…etc. ..

UNHAPPY
If women unhappy with their relations, she can not concentrate on work.
If men unhappy with their work, he can not concentrate on the relations.

MAP
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain
does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of
crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his
mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his
analytical skills space of brain.

Women can’t do this. They often lost their way to their seat.

LIFE
Life is very easy to Men. One good job, one alcohol bottle is enough for him.
Women want everything in life.

SPEECH
Women use indirect languages in speech.
Geetha asked Vijay, “vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?”
This means, Geetha really want a cup of coffee.
In the morning….. …”Darling, do you think, will it be good to have
an Omlette for breakfast”
Men use direct language. “Geetha, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls
stop the car when you see a coffee shop”.
In the morning….” Darling, Can you please prepare an omelet for breakfast”.

HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion.
Men act a lot with out thinking. That’s why many of prisoners are men
all over the world.

Now if you think of it,
it really makes sense.
Rational and sensible things
but you’ll just laugh it off….kyun? Kyun?
Ain’t all sensible things ought to be followed?? huh?

1. If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.

3. Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don’t walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don’t care who rules the world!
That’s called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

Funny Email

MONKEY IN THE PLANE
Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane
was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and
reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the
monkey.

Officer: ‘When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘Tying their belts’

Officer: ‘What were the air hostesses doing?’
Monkey: ‘Saying Hello! Good morning!’

Officer: ‘What were the pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Checking the system’

Officer: ‘What were you doing?’
Monkey: ‘Looking for my people’

Officer: ‘After 10′ minutes what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘Having beverages and snacks’

Officer: ‘What were the air hostesses doing?’
Monkey: ‘Serving the travelers’

Officer: ‘What were the Pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Handling the steering’

Officer: ‘What were you doing?’
Monkey: ‘Eating & throwing’

Officer: ‘After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘Some were sleeping and some were reading’

Officer: ‘What were the air hostesses doing?’
Monkey: ‘Make up’

Officer: ‘What were the pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Handling the steering’

Officer: ‘What were you doing?’
Monkey: ‘Nothing’

Officer: ‘Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘All were sleeping’

Officer: ‘What were the pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Handling the air hostess’

Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !

No more Questions!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely

Norman $oh

!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply

Dear NOrman

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company isNOt doing NOticeably well as yet

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean

Yours truly

Manager

Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email
Funny Email

Page 2 of 41234
 
 
buy synthroid online no prescription order viagra soft tabs online